Australia's 'evil' carbon tax

Australia will soon join a host of other nations and get Prime Minister Julia Gillard's carbon tax implemented - even after all the (hysterical) opposition to it. Now I'm not an advocate of new taxes generally (why not just raise the levels for super high income earners?), but I have been astounded about the degree of outrage about this tax. It is a tax which will be imposed on only the top polluting companies in Australia, around 500 of them. Yet most public discussion seems to have taken place with the presumption that it will be a tax on every individual in the population.

Sure prices of the goods and services of the newly-taxed top-polluting companies will increase as they pass on the cost of the tax, but then why not just buy the products of their competitors who are not as polluting and thus offer cheaper products?

Isn't that the point? To get us to buy from non-polluters or users of cleaner energy so that if the high polluters want to stay in business they will have to begin to use cleaner energy too?

Regarding products such as electricity, which will increase in price, the government is compensating households with tax cuts, in some cases with the cut being greater than any additional cost incurred for the household. Why are people upset about this? Even if we did have to pay more, if the true cost of something is more than we are accustomed to paying, then someone has to pay the real cost. At present, that someone will be our grandchildren and their children. Is that really what we want to leave them and have them remember us by?

Then of course there's transport and fuel and the steel industry etc, but if companies in those industries are high polluters then maybe they need to find new and more efficient ways of doing things? Isn't that also the point of this tax? Will our competitive advantage be so compromised by this tax that it will lead to large-scale unemployment as has been argued or is it that deep down we know that most of the affected industries are reliant on demand from China, and China's growth is slowing and so that demand will decrease soon anyway? When we're feeling vulnerable about something big, it is tempting and easier to blame something not so big.

Sure I'd be upset if I were a high-polluting company executive - but we all have to change our ways sometime. Without the carbon tax, at some point some other market disrupter will appear anyway, even if it's only a new competitor. Over time, whole industries disappear and new ones emerge. We can't keep everything as it is - imagine what the world would still be like if we had been able to do so! Change happens all the time in business (in life!), and isn't that why these huge organisations have so many managers, to direct and guide change? Isn't that what 'change managers' are for?

To begin to take care of our environment is a pretty good reason to make some changes I think.

The Way of Voice Dialogue

I've often been asked the question: "How many Voice Dialogue sessions will I need?"

I can understand the desire for such a definitive answer, whether it be because a person wants to have an issue resolved for once and for all, or if someone wants to reach some goal in consciousness, which, once they have attained it, means they will have no need for further work. But the truth is that you can never have enough sessions but also that you may not even need all that many (yes, I know, a statement which appears to be contradictory, which is typical of many spiritual and consciousness paths - but bear with me).

Although Voice Dialogue is a therapeutic tool, and I believe is the most effective of such tools, and it is also the quickest and most direct route to an expansion of consciousness, for me it is also much more than that: your entire journey through life can be lived according to 'the way of Voice Dialogue'. What this means to me is that I perceive the people, things and events around me and affecting me as a part of me, maybe a part I know well or maybe a part I haven't yet met, or a part I would rather not meet. I see the world as a mirror of myself but one which is in constant relationship with me. The boundary where I begin and the outside world ends is a boundary which is malleable, sometimes distinct, at other times more blurry, and at yet other times it is a boundary I am in charge of.

If I go about my day paying attention to what life brings to me and to my responses to those things life brings, I become increasingly aware of where my comfort zones, judgments and blind spots lie. If I look at everything and everyone as a part of myself, as a member of my inner family, and I respond to it all/them all with a mix of acknowledgement, curiosity and respect required of the situation, while at the same time being aware of how people and things are affecting me, then, to me, I am living Voice Dialogue. That is, I am in a process of becoming more conscious. My reactions and responses tell me where I'm at, and the outside world tells me what is. I then continue to move on with my life with that information, sometimes not being able to do much with it except carry it with me, but at other times enjoying those 'ahaa' moments when something has real meaning for me and I feel myself grow and become richer and more compassionate.

I want to point out that I am neither advocating narcissism when I say I see the world as a part of me, nor am I trying to feel loving of and friendly toward each person I come across. For I am not referring to 'me' as a primary self, or the ego. Of course if a self were to see everything external as belonging to it and related to it exclusively, then narcissism would result, as it unfortunately has in many people on a path of personal growth where this understanding is not clear. And, likewise, if you feel loving towards everyone then you are identified with a self who feels that way and are unable to tap into discernment or even alarm when those feelings might be useful, even crucial.

What I mean when I say that the world is a mirror, that everyone is a part of me, is similar to how the ancient Indian texts describe us all as one. We have our individuality but the 'I' we all share and which is part of a greater 'I' becomes, soon after birth, even before probably, bound to the selves which form and arrive with us, to enable us to relate with the world. So our 'I' becomes identified with a self or group of selves and we lose our connection to other selves and to the greater whole. (The video I linked to on my Facebook page - Jeremy Rifkin on "the empathic civilisation" illustrates this process and how we can also evolve - and in fact are evolving - to become more empathic, if we allow ourselves to communicate/relate with one another - the video is not about Voice Dialogue and the aware ego but its content supports the idea of the aware ego process, in the way that it is about reaching out to and embracing 'the other'.)

This 'way' is all about relationship: our relationship with ourselves - our selves; our relationships with our partners, which give us priceless teachings; our relationships with our children who not only mirror us and teach us but also give us unconditional love and are among the most forgiving people we will encounter; our relationships with our parents, friends, colleagues and neighbours; our relationship with the natural world around us; our relationship with the spiritual world; and our relationship with the unconscious, the all-pervading, all-knowing intelligence which, if we are willing to listen to, will guide us.

If we look at each and every person who comes into our lives as a self, in much the same way as we meet the selves in a Voice Dialogue session, we can discover just as much as we can in a formal session - and our aware ego process can continue to develop. This way requires that we simply relate with each person we meet with the attitude we would use in a Voice Dialogue session, and when we realise that we are stuck in judgment (or awe) about someone, or we can't help but become enmeshed with someone, or any other response where we lose the ability to relate with consciousness, then we can go and have a formal session, or countless sessions if that is what it takes, on that issue.

That is the 'Way of Voice Dialogue' for me.

Learning from Captain Jack Sparrow

I watched the first Pirates of the Caribbean film with my kids the other day and found myself wishing I could meet (maybe run off with for a little while!) or even be Captain Jack Sparrow. He's not even real, just a fictitious character, although Johnny Depp who plays him is handsome enough. I even checked to see if there is a Facebook page about Jack Sparrow - there is! - and thought about dying my hair dark and changing the way I dress.

You may think I'm completely crazy but this fantasy was a lot of fun and I've calmed down somewhat over the last few days. I've also discussed it with my husband and he also would love to dress like a pirate at times and roam the world in total freedom.

Now it's not just the fact that Jack is a pirate that is the appealing thing - none of the other pirates in the film had any effect on me. It's that Jack is meant to be this tough and mean pirate Captain yet he's so totally in touch with his vulnerability and other more sensitive characteristics, and is unashamedly happy to display them. He also has a delicious sense of humour, is basically a 'good guy', and is a little crazy. He's the opposite to how we are meant to behave in our sophisticated Western societies. And even though he is meant to be on the wrong side of the law he in fact is more moral and achieves greater good than the guys on the 'right' side.

The lesson in the fascination for me included to lighten up a little, to remember to question the rules our culture and its institutions want us to live by and make sure they are really right for me, and generally to get back in touch with energies that being a responsible parent doesn't allow for.

If others are also feeling the attraction of the eccentric pirate energy of Jack Sparrow, which I suspect they are, given the huge popularity of the movie, maybe there's a lesson in his character for us all?

In case you're interested I've 'liked' Jack Sparrow's Facebook page on my page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Astra-Niedra-Writer/192556337457739

Does climate change really matter?

I've been feeling frustrated about how we, in the sense of we as humanity as a whole, have been endlessly arguing about climate change with no significant action being taken. I am aware of the arguments on both sides and feel the vulnerabilities of both sides, and also realise that for many it is simply of no concern, for various reasons. But no matter which side of the debate about whether humans have contributed to the climate changing you identify with, the fact is that the climate is changing and there is a possibility that human beings can do something to stabilize it.

Even if nothing we do has a major effect on the earth's temperatures changing and the associated consequences, which is also a very real possibility, there will be other major, even life-altering, benefits from using cleaner sources of energy and thereby reducing pollution. Think of all the health problems caused by dirty air which would be eased. Think of the money that would be saved on health spending as a result, which could be put to other uses. Consider the enhanced quality of life for so many people as a result of fewer asthma attacks and other respiratory illnesses. Imagine living in the world's largest cities and being able to see a blue sky.

Then there's the advances in technology and results of increased creativity which would result from human energy going into exploring new energy creation methods. Often when there is a crisis and a need, human beings become motivated to do amazing things.

It really struck me how we have only the one earth to live on when this morning I saw a picture in the newspaper of the sun. It looked as if it could be held in my hand, and I realised that if something happened to it, our one tiny, little sun in the vast expanse of space, it would be the end for us all. You could use this to argue for not doing anything about our climate as we are even smaller and more insignificant than the sun, but the realisation that our earth is even smaller than our sun made me see how much care it requires in order to stay healthy and liveable. If we keep doing the same things we are doing now, it doesn't take a genius to see that eventually we'll destroy the earth, whether or not the climate continues to change. At present, we have nowhere else to go. If you destroy your house, you can move to another one; if your town burns down or is flooded, you can move to another one; even if your country is being ruined, it may be possible to flee. But if the earth starts to die, where will we go?

Climate Change a Feminist Concern?

It is interesting that with such worldwide and intense concern about the environment, with many public figures stating that climate change is our most pressing issue, the issue of giving equal value to both sexes has lost its status as a significant public concern. Of course many women are still fighting for paid maternity (and paternity) leave, wage equality (apparently the gap is growing wider again), and there is much comment in the media about how society is sexualising teenage and even pre-teen girls. But there appears to be little or no insight by our leaders, activists and commentators into the connection between these issues.

Environmental abuse stems from disregard for nature and its cycles, and the promotion of unbridled competition and economic expansion. The environment - nature - is something human beings from all cultures regard as the feminine expression of life whereas industry and 'building' are seen as the expression of masculinity. Both women and men have masculine and feminine attributes yet in our modern world masculine qualities are valued more highly than feminine qualities. Thus we have had such inequality between the sexes because superficially it seems that women are identified more with feminine attributes and men more with the masculine. But we have seen in the examples of female leaders and athletes and ordinary women going about their daily lives that women can quite easily express their masculine side, and men can also express their feminine side.

Can we fight for the environment and expect any positive results without also fighting for the feminine?

By ignoring women's issues and continuing the devaluation of feminine qualities, exactly what kind of vision for the health of the environment do we have?

World Peace

I watched an inspiring film on television the other night titled Soldiers of Peace, narrated by actor Michael Douglas, about individuals in some of the world's hot spots who are making a difference to peace in their region. It was interesting because the techniques which led to improved relations between previously warring parties were similar to those one might use in a therapy situation with an individual seeking inner peace or resolution of conflict in a personal relationship.

For instance, there was a Christian and a Muslim leader in Nigeria who decided they would talk to each other about their differences rather than incite their followers to perform acts of terrorism against others, which both admitted to previously having done. Where they lived, already many people had lost their lives in acts of violence all in the name of religion. But once the two leaders talked, particularly as their conversation turned to personal matters, they realised that each was a human being with similarities to himself, and then - crucially from a consciousness point of view - accepted the other's differences as valid and not requiring changing, they were able to find peace between themselves. The Christian leader summarised where his state of consiousness had got to in his statement that now he lives his beliefs rather than preaches them. One of the men even explained that they created a new space in which to relate to each other from and from that space could accept each other as they were - exactly the process Voice Dialogue develops which the Drs Stone have called the aware ego.

In another example, a woman in Kenya became so fed up with the violence between teenagers of warring tribes that she started a football tournament for them and when they turned up to play, she mixed up the teams so that enemies had to play on the same team. When the first dispute arose, the boys' immediate response was to basically get their weapons out and shoot each other but the woman suggested they sit down and talk instead. She asked them what they would want to say and do to resolve the confrontation, if they didn't feel they had to follow the rules their elders had established about how to deal with disagreements with neighbouring tribespeople. When the teenagers looked into themselves and discussed their feelings with each other, they agreed to play on, rather than fight it out. As a consequence of these regular football games and having the kids themselves solve their disputes with each other in their own way, the entire area where the two tribes live has seen a drastic reduction in violence.

The show dealt with other hot spots and peace creation in those spots without resorting to war, and in all cases the solutions came from the individual people involved and not a hand from above (or from another nation) decreeing what the solution should be or imposing its rules. It also involved those individuals going through a personal transformation of some kind, after which they could see that their perspective was not the only one.

Although this film offered some much-needed hope that positive things are happening in the world, it was interesting that the focus was on the idea that it takes individuals to effect change, yet there was little attempt to explore the inner changes that took place in the individuals involved, which was what led to the external circumstances improving. I don't know if it was the intention of the programme's makers to simply allow audiences to see that the subjects in the film experienced a shift within ourselves, but I think the film's message could have been more powerful if the film maker's had asked the people in more detail about their internal process when they made the quite radical changes in their behaviours and attitude. That would have served as inspiration for others in similar situations to try such a path as it would have made what they did more accessible to others, rather than have who they were portrayed as special and therefore their actions not quite as available to not-so-special people.

And this got me thinking about how when individuals and governments attempt to tackle such huge issues as world peace, they rarely (if ever?) incorporate ideas and expertise from the more personal-work-based modalities, such as the many psychotherapeutic techniques available, as well as other areas of study, such as sociology and biology, into their exploration of how changes in the wider world can be made.

It seems that we humans like to specialise in an area of study and then we look at problems only through the lens of our own or someone else's area of expertise. Thus we get economists trying to find solutions for the economy, environmentalists trying to find solutions for climate change, criminal psychologists trying to find solutions to crime, as if all these problems were closed systems, without also needing to look at the psychological, sociological, spiritual, gender-based etc aspects of why our economies, environment, crime rate are as they are. It seems obvious to me that it would be worthwhile to draw on many areas of expertise in order to deal with our world's problems.

To an extent we do it regarding personal problems: We have a pain in our body and so maybe we look at it from a nutritional point of view first, then we consult a doctor, then a chiropractor or osteopath. Maybe we look at our emotional state, our work situation, or even whether there is an environmental cause for our pain. Maybe the cause is a mix of many inter-related reasons?

But no matter how we examine a problem and search for a solution, at some point we have to look at ourselves and our part in it.

If you want to leave your relationship ...

DON'T - at least not until you have examined whether you are stuck in a negative bonding pattern.

If you feel that your relationship is over, it could be that you are stuck in a bonding pattern. Negative bonding patterns can range from the mildly irritating type, such as when you are identified with being the tidy person in your relationship and your partner is identified with being the untidy one, to the full-blown world war type of pattern where you wish you had never met each other and you file for divorce or consider hiring a hit man to remove your partner from the gene pool.

In a negative bonding pattern each partner's primary self is in a state of judgment about the other person's primary self. The judgment occurs because there is some kind of vulnerability in both people which they are not attending to. This vulnerable feeling is uncomfortable to your primary self, who knows no other way of dealing with those feelings but to push them away, into the unconscious, so that you can feel powerful again. The more identified with the primary self and its power you become, the less you can see from any other perspective.

It is like you are glued fast to one end of a see-saw and there is no way you can move towards the middle, to where you might have access to other viewpoints. At your end of the see-saw the world looks a certain way, and, to your primary self, it is the one and only RIGHT way.

Your partner experiences the same righteousness but on the opposite end of the see-saw.

So how do you deal with this seemingly no-win situation?

Firstly, when you realise you are in a negative bonding pattern and you cannot help but feel you are right and that your partner is solely to blame, or that your partner started it, do not begin to tell them what you think about the bonding pattern! While you are in that state you will only be speaking from a righteous parental voice or a psychologically-minded know-it-all and your partner will sense this. If you try it and your partner becomes even more angry at you, then you have proof you are speaking from such a voice. Instead, say something like "I need some time to myself" and leave the situation.

Then, either do some journalling or Voice Dialogue with a therapist to help you unhook from the self you are tied to in the bonding pattern with your partner or write out on paper the thoughts and feelings which come to you when you feel judgment towards your partner. As you write, you will become more aware of the part of you involved in the bonding pattern.

You can ask this part of you what it is feeling vulnerable about and write down the answers that come to you. Either let yourself just write it all out if this comes easily, or try to sense into why it annoys you so much that your partner does whatever it is you are upset about.

Then, see if you can access a part of you which can take care of your vulnerable feelings; see if you can soothe yourself. Imagine how you would take care of your vulnerability as if you were your own loving parent.

Now consider your partner's point of view. What self are they identified with in this situation? Is this a self you have disowned? Have you ever had this self available to you? See if you can bring some of the energy this self has into yourself, or at least begin to see what it might say or feel about you.

Gradually you will gain a more comprehensive picture of what has been going on with the negative pattern dominating your feelings in your relationship. Hopefully you will become aware of new facets of yourself and will become a more whole person. You will then begin to see your partner in a different light and they will seemingly magically transform before you. It only takes one of you to start this process to diffuse the situation.

Bonding patterns can take a long time to work out so as long as you are not being harmed in your relationship, it is well worth the effort. At the very least you will gain a deeper understanding of yourself and will be able to relate more consciously and fully in the future if your relationship does not work out, and at best your relationship will reach ever-deepening levels of love and fulfilment.

So if you feel negative about your partner, take it as an opportunity to grow.

For more information on bonding patterns visit my web site www.voicedialogue.com